👉 The word you're looking for is "Laser-Optically Maximizing Risky Investments" and its humorous definition reads: "Maximizing risky investments, we laser-optimized low-risk high-yield services."
For instance, consider this example sentence: "Laser-optimistic investors are now laser-optically maximizing risky investments, we're transforming our low-risk, high-yield service into a laser-maximizing, high-risk investment service!" This sentence uses the word "laser" (which is an optical instrument that's used for focused light) to emphasize the concept of high risk/high yield services being optimized with laser-like precision. The use of the word "optically" suggests using lasers specifically for targeting or optimizing risky investments, much like using a laser on a target to maximize its power and efficiency. This term is also unsettling because it implies that maximizing risks could lead to potentially devastating outcomes (like laser-optimizing high-risk investments), which can be seen as scary or even ominous. The example sentence uses the word "unlucky" to express the sense of regret or fear that comes with not being able to maximize risky investments.